


Bad Day

by auroraphilealis (peachrosepetals)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depression, M/M, Tour Fic, introactive introverts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 15:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15318036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachrosepetals/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: Dan and Phil are on tour, but that doesn’t stop Dan from having bad days sometimes. Thankfully, Phil’s always there to… make them seem more bearable.





	Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day two of the [@phanfichallenge](http://phanfichallenge.tumblr.com) week of writing challenge.

Some days Dan just can’t be bothered to get out of bed.

It’s hardest when he has to get up to go in for an early meeting, or when he and Phil are filming something that isn’t on their own terms. It’s hardest when Dan know’s he hasn’t uploaded a video in a month, and his subscribers start getting antsy on twitter. It’s hardest when his brain tells him he’s useless and that he’s never going to be alright.

But it’s the _worst_ on mornings like this, twenty minutes before a staff meeting, and two hours before their meet and greet.

Dan knows he’s meant to be happy, knows he has nothing to be upset about - after all, he is on _tour_ with his best friend - but that doesn’t stop his brain from telling him today is going to be a shit day.

He just wants to stay curled up in the hotel room he and Phil have caught for the night, one of the few stops they aren’t sleeping on the bus, and pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist. He wants to hide away from their management, their team, the producers and project designers who’ve come along with them to make this whole thing possible, if only to avoid his own responsibilities for just a little bit longer.

But he knows that he can’t.

"Are you seriously still in bed, Dan?" Phil calls out as the hotel bathroom door opens.

Dan squeezes his eyes shut and doesn't answer.

One day, Phil is going to get sick of Dan being like this. One day, Phil is going to give up on him.

(Dan knows that’s not true, but it doesn’t make his brain stop thinking it.)

The sound of Phil moving around the hotel room filters into Dan’s ears, but he doesn’t look up to watch him. He keeps his head buried in his pillow, and wraps himself even more securely under the duvet.

Phil sighs as he quite obviously catches sight of Dan, and while the sound is nothing more than the concern of a loved one, Dan’s brain tells him it’s annoyance. He hates that he hurts Phil like this, ruins both their mornings because his dumb brain doesn’t produce enough serotonin. Dan wishes he could just be normal. He wishes it were just that simple.

And then the bed dips, and Phil slides under the covers, and cold, wet arms wrap around Dan’s waist. Phil drags him backwards against a wet body, and Dan yelps in surprise.

"What the hell, you asshole!" Dan shouts, surprising even himself at the vehemence of his reaction.

The worst part about depression is the random bursts of irritation that prickle under Dan’s skin, and cause him to lash out uncontrollably.

He clamps his lips shut and tries to squirm out of Phil’s arms, his eyes burning with angry tears. He hates when he’s like this, hates when he can’t differentiate between his own emotions, and the numbness makes way to sadness makes way to anger.

Phil just holds onto Dan tighter.

“Shh,” Phil says, “Let’s just… stay here for a bit.”

And thought his form is wet, and he’s probably soaking the bedspread, Dan can’t resist the request, because he really doesn’t want to get out of bed.

So he lets the angry tears fall, tries to get himself to relax, curls up further in the bed, and prays that he can catch even just a few more minutes of sleep.

Phil holds him close and just breathes with him, and when they're thirty minutes late to rehearsal, and one hour closer to their meet and greet, Phil takes the brunt of their producers screams, assuring them that it was his fault they were late.

It doesn't really make Dan's day feel less shit, but it assures him that he's loved, and that's about all he can ask for.


End file.
